The Beggar
John Gartland brags in his poetry about his drug exploits.
All his poems are autobiographical. When he's not making snide remarks about the generals or the monarchy, he's using the poisoned quilt of his pen to tear his enemies apart.
The secret is, get in before Gartland does. Deprive the dog of oxygen.
'I'll gladly do that,' said Rosa, the latest recruit hired by Big Tit Inc. Get some quotes from his poem.
I had to see a psychiatrist about a problem I had.
'So what is your problem?'
'Well the guy is after my money. He has it in his head that my money is his.'
'Only a failed and bitter twisted poet would ever consider doing something like that.'
'Worse still,' I said to my psychiatrist,' he already got A$500 bucks off me.'
Don't tell me how he did it.
'You don't need to tell me,' said my shrink, 'I think I have it figured out.'
She continued,' we see a lot of this going on during Covid. The pandemic is bringing out toxic behavior. The covid virus actually encourages it. Especially the elderly are vulnerable of invisibly and fucktardery.'
Hmm, I hummbed before continuing,'maybe he’s going senile, beset with financial worries and predisposed to a nasty mindset as he cowers in his filthy bolt hole?'
Hmmm, said the psychiatrist, who was interesed in my train of thought.
I said it was her turn.
She knew the backxstory and ventured, almost hesitantly, with baby steps, 'just imagine the glee he felt when he ripped you off the first time and the deep well of disappointment when his next attempt failed.'
My skrink was a great listener.
I said as far as therapy goes, we should continue this in the next session.
I was really feeling better.
I still had a long way to go before I got my five hundreds worth.
But boy I'll keep on trying till the poet starts crying.
'Fucking brilliant,' said my vanquilatrist, a BJ doll, modelled on the poet.
Sick?
I know.
