Guest Writer, John Gartland

 

I hate you nigger, I hate you nigger.

Faith was nowhere to be seen.

I’m not only going to call the police on you Bongo and build up a case against you, but I’m going to remind you who is boss.

If you want to talk, knock gently.

If you want me to call the police, then just do what you are doing.

He and Faith had been planning this for ages.

They exchange information in Swahili.

‘No doubt about that,’ said Rosie.

Made sense.

I was writing about them on the sly and Congo Bongo was playing Idi Amin with the help of his beggar girl from Kenya.

Seriously, she looked more Ethiopian to me.

If she lost another ten kilograms, she could be the poster child for Word Vision, or Feed African  Children. 

That’s right Faith, stretch your hands out like you mean it, we need the West to feel sorry for you.

*This was the only piece that John Gartland wrote for The Gropamine Diaries,  he asked for another $500 for this piece, the cheek of the cuntard.