I had known Gartland for a good few years now.
He was always kind and courteous.
He seemed happy to hear from me and when I traveled, he traveled vicariously.
He knew when I was raced out of town by a Chinese.
He knew where I was living and what I wasn't doing.
He knew everything.
We were becoming good friends.
Then he got bored and pulled the plug.
He only self-destructed with loads of cash in his hand.
No one ever saw it coming.
I had woken up on a Sunday afternoon to receive his bombshell email.
It was a begging email.
Was he testing our friendship?
He had no fear, I wasn't going to let him down.
I should have told him to get fucked like I did with the other old geezer who taught English in Thailand.
But I didn't.
It's when the dog started begging for more cash after doing a rotten job on my book.
He destroyed it.
There is no such thing as Gropamine.
It's Duromine, dog, got it???
I suppose I had to pay for his cleverness.
When I asked for the cashback, saying he was begging, he wouldn't budge.
In the end, I had to go along with the editing.
I just couldn't get him to pay me back after one month, as he had originally said in the first begging email.
One day I sent him an email pretty much saying he was a beggar.
Oh, you should have seen the response.
He was far from a beggar and how dare I even suggest it.
Bye John, you dog.
Get off the gear, it's unhinging you even more.
It's everyone else who has a problem.
Not him.
He's cool.
He's the poet.
He's respectable.
He's got an answer for everything.
I couldn't even get him on the phone to discuss editing the book.
His communications closed.
Just like that.
He got the cash and why should he accommodate me?
A spell check would keep me in hope.
Hope that he might do a better job.
In the end, it was empty promises and I was fucked over thoroughly.
I've got better things to do than write about this dog.
I have another book I should be editing.
I won't ever be using his services.
Gartland is living in Alice's wasted land.
When things get too much for him, he ducks down the rabbit hole.
He's a con man.
You can't con a con artist.
