I thought this might cause you some wry amusement

This is John Gartland at his best. When he's good, he's fucking good.

 

The compensation comes in, and allows you to afford a civilized address to move to.

That assured you set about your revenge. Tape loops of Congo Bongo's banging door, and him saying, "You are a good man" and Faith's incessant tuneless singing, interspersed with African tribal chants and bongos, are your amplified rejoinder to any door slams in the future. Bongo could get reported for pimping out  Faith  in satanic rites with dead chickens; there are hooker black magic sex cards in local phone boxes with his number, which you've managed to get hold of, "Black whores suck better",   or for drug possession, or just for being a health hazard. Trang will of course be impressed with all these things happening at her property. ....The sensational story about depraved African sex rituals in a room complete with dead chickens, might even reach the local press...

I get a call from my editor. 

'That was a fucking cheap shot, on the one hand, blowing sunshine out of my loose asshole, on the other hand, juxtaposing that with my confidential correspondence with you. Cheap shot mate, cheap shot.'