Take this, said the chemist.
So if the RAM went, all I'd have to do is pull it out and replace it with a new one.
My old Mac Air wasn't prepared to give up the ghost.
Slowly and surely, it started reviving.
I can proudly say I'm still downloading porn from Pirate Bay.
I respect that beast.
Every day with it active and servicing a greater course, I look at the 2011 model with adoration.
I crashed the following day and wonderful stories from Paranoia fueled this blog.
Outside the mall, I ran into one of the customers at the Mac store. He was a Malay and was looking for a new phone with his girlfriend.
He just smiled at me as I walked past him with my new Mac.
Mac products have that effect on some people.
He had forgiven me and gave me his blessings with a knowing smile as I trudged back the five kilometers to my hotel.
Fucked if I was going to waste cash on a taxi.
They don't want scripts from me. The more I spend, the more the cabinet door to prescription drugs opens up.
I could feel a cold coming on.
I'd have to hit it hard with some heavy duty tablets before it got the better of me.
I had already been off a week from a bad rash.
I was back in the pool and now this cold threatened to put my exercise routine back into the room, moping around.
I need the sun. I need to feel it on my back. I need to feel the body heating up from a long walk in the tropics.
'Just take this,' she said and handed me two strips.
I read the ingredients, pseudoephedrine, 120 milligrams and two milligrams of something else.
Just one strip will do.
'You can take it now,' she says as I pay up.
My Mac Air decided to spit the dummy too.
It's the RAM on the logic board that's soldered on.
'You'll need to replace the logic board,' said my Mac advisor,' so it would be just as cheap to buy a new one.'
The tablet was kicking in. It had set me off on long loops around the city, trying to find the mall that sells Mac Airs.
If I played my cards right, I could get a two hundred Ringgit rebate.
I felt lost without an operating computer.
You can't do much on an iPad, and if anyone says you can, then I say it's not the fucking same.
On the way to the mall, I drop into a Seven Eleven.
I said many things but one thing I said showed my state of mind.
'Psudeo fucking ephedrine, whoo hooo.'
The Malay behind the counter was mouthing 'What The Fuck', no sound was riding on those words.
I continued the hunt for a new Mac Air.
I fuckin' smell, I said, as I entered the Mac store in a high end shopping mall dripping in good old fashioned and hard earned sweat.
Will still serve me? I asked the sales staff who was busy attending another customer.
He sensed the urgency of a sale and dropped the wannabe customer for the 'real' one.
I wasn't fucking window shopping and he picked up on that vibe immediately.
He knew I was transferring funds from one account to another on my phone and humored me.
He answered all kinds of questions, gave me specks on this model and specks on that one. I'd ask him the same question. So far he was doing very well. But there was still another test..
You are all fucking cunts, I said, trying to ruffle a few feathers, looking at the staff and one or two customers
Mac stores always attract pretentious shoppers.
I wouldn't admit to being one, would I?
You are't going to call the police?
Of course they weren't.
Well fuck a duck, bring out that 13 inch beast. I was listening. And the salesman said that there was nothing worse than squintng at an 11 inch screen.
The salesman, who was also the manager, was creaming his pants. It was the easiest sale of the day. All he had to do was put up with a loud-mouthed bogan, and he'd be rewarded for the sale.
Eventually, I calmed down after I discovered that a bottle of water was leaking in my bag, enriching my electronics with water that would ensure them a quick demise.
I was bereft. I was coming down. No wonder my Mac Air was dying a slow death.
'Best to separate any liquids from your electronics,' says the Aaron, the Chinese salesman.
I couldn't agree more. But bottles of water just had a habit of draining in my carry bag, despite every precaution.
I was trying my best to dry off my phones and laptop.
'Take your time, take your time,' said Aaron, who was witnessing a customer who was becoming more and more unhinged by the moment.
From an eblulient smart ass to an emotional wreck, Aaron consoled me by saying that I had one year Apple Care on my my new Mac.
I was quiet and conciliatory. This wasn't the confident redneck that had entered the computer shop. I was now a confused and fuddling middle-aged fart.
Why was I forking out big cash on a new Mac Air?
Because I'm absent minded fuck.
And because I wanted a newer and sexier model.
Bottles don't leak if you screw the lid on tight.
I need to work on that one.
But I really wanted a sexy Mac Air with more RAM. I really wanted to touch the sleek aluminum casing. I had to get my iron intake from somewhere and licking the sleek contours of my Mac Air was as good a place as any.
Man, the oncoming flu was now outgoing and I was now a proud owner of a Mac Air with eight gigs of RAM that wasn't soldered onto the logic board.
On the way to the mall, I drop into a Seven Eleven.
I said many things but one thing I said showed my state of mind.
'Psudeo fucking ephedrine, whoo hooo.'
The Malay behind the counter was mouthing 'What The Fuck', no sound was riding on those words.
I continued the hunt for a new Mac Air.
I fuckin' smell, I said, as I entered the Mac store in a high end shopping mall dripping in good old fashioned and hard earned sweat.
Will still serve me? I asked the sales staff who was busy attending another customer.
He sensed the urgency of a sale and dropped the wannabe customer for the 'real' one.
I wasn't fucking window shopping and he picked up on that vibe immediately.
He knew I was transferring funds from one account to another on my phone and humored me.
He answered all kinds of questions, gave me specks on this model and specks on that one. I'd ask him the same question. So far he was doing very well. But there was still another test..
You are all fucking cunts, I said, trying to ruffle a few feathers, looking at the staff and one or two customers
Mac stores always attract pretentious shoppers.
I wouldn't admit to being one, would I?
You are't going to call the police?
Of course they weren't.
Well fuck a duck, bring out that 13 inch beast. I was listening. And the salesman said that there was nothing worse than squintng at an 11 inch screen.
The salesman, who was also the manager, was creaming his pants. It was the easiest sale of the day. All he had to do was put up with a loud-mouthed bogan, and he'd be rewarded for the sale.
Eventually, I calmed down after I discovered that a bottle of water was leaking in my bag, enriching my electronics with water that would ensure them a quick demise.
I was bereft. I was coming down. No wonder my Mac Air was dying a slow death.
'Best to separate any liquids from your electronics,' says the Aaron, the Chinese salesman.
I couldn't agree more. But bottles of water just had a habit of draining in my carry bag, despite every precaution.
I was trying my best to dry off my phones and laptop.
'Take your time, take your time,' said Aaron, who was witnessing a customer who was becoming more and more unhinged by the moment.
From an eblulient smart ass to an emotional wreck, Aaron consoled me by saying that I had one year Apple Care on my my new Mac.
I was quiet and conciliatory. This wasn't the confident redneck that had entered the computer shop. I was now a confused and fuddling middle-aged fart.
Why was I forking out big cash on a new Mac Air?
Because I'm absent minded fuck.
And because I wanted a newer and sexier model.
Bottles don't leak if you screw the lid on tight.
I need to work on that one.
But I really wanted a sexy Mac Air with more RAM. I really wanted to touch the sleek aluminum casing. I had to get my iron intake from somewhere and licking the sleek contours of my Mac Air was as good a place as any.
Man, the oncoming flu was now outgoing and I was now a proud owner of a Mac Air with eight gigs of RAM that wasn't soldered onto the logic board.
So if the RAM went, all I'd have to do is pull it out and replace it with a new one.
My old Mac Air wasn't prepared to give up the ghost.
Slowly and surely, it started reviving.
I can proudly say I'm still downloading porn from Pirate Bay.
I respect that beast.
Every day with it active and servicing a greater course, I look at the 2011 model with adoration.
I crashed the following day and wonderful stories from Paranoia fueled this blog.
Outside the mall, I ran into one of the customers at the Mac store. He was a Malay and was looking for a new phone with his girlfriend.
He just smiled at me as I walked past him with my new Mac.
Mac products have that effect on some people.
He had forgiven me and gave me his blessings with a knowing smile as I trudged back the five kilometers to my hotel.
Fucked if I was going to waste cash on a taxi.
