On the first week of Duromine I had become a wanking machine.
On the first night I wanked for about eight hours.
I reread the instructions, 'pop a Cialis, put on some porn, and wank those calories off.'
I must have lost five kg's on the first night.
Alright, slight exaggeration.
It’s very hard to keep a hard-on on it.
You really need help from either Cialis, Viagra, or a whore who does great blow jobs.
Since taking the pill, three weeks into it, I watch my diet. I only eat salads and vegetables.
I’ve stopped raiding the fridge late at night.
And I'm watching more porn.
I watched a fair bit of it before taking diet pills.
Now I just watched a lot more.
Having twenty tabs running at the same time, watching facial porn seemed to slot in very well with my state of mind.
I know, sounds ideal.
I’ll tell you anything to make me look good.
One of my weaknesses that contributed to my very fleshy love handles was
sugar and pasta and ice-cream.
Fat thrives on it.
Diabetes feasts on it.
And I just fucking adored it.
I was a two packet a day smoker too.
It did nothing to keep the weight off.
Another myth debunked.
Everyone was still calling me ‘Big Boy’ and 'Fat Cunt.'
They were just too fucking lazy to remember my name and most likely crack heads who relied on meth to keep their weight down.
I wanted to tell them to go fuck themselves.
I'd need a higher dosage for that kind of transformation.
Watch out cunts, the polite me is going and the nasty me is on it's way.
I'm gunna wreck you.
