I hadn’t weighed myself on a scale for 25 years.And nor had I ever had my nails polished and varnished until....
I didn’t need to.
My weight was manageable.
Or so I thought.
Yet the vanity side of me was scared to death of the scales.
It's like a smoker who has his morning coughing fit.
Is that blood I just coughed out?
A furtive look, 'looks fine by me.'
Being overweight is about being in ignorant bliss.
It is a case of what you don’t know won’t hurt you.
But boy did I know.
How much did I really weigh?
Surely not over 90 kilograms.
And a lot of that weight must be muscle mass.
And we all know muscle weighs more than fat.
Surely the fat was just from the two liters of milk I had been consuming most nights over the last two months.
Who doesn't go through their dairy
stages?
I showed restraint by skipping the cheese.
Some called it bulking up, I personally called it a treat before retiring to bed for the night.
Milk went so well with cereals.
A glass of milk over lunch, magic,
Another liter over dinner, sublime.
It made me fill full.
If chilled, more refreshing than a sugary soft drink.
I know, I can hear you saying, but wasn't it a bit excessive.
Or did I hear you say that you loved sucking from the cow’s udder?
Didn't Oscar Wilde say nothing 'exceeds like excess.'
Didn't he also say he had nothing else to declare (he had already drunk the bottle of absinthe) but his genius?
Of course, he did.
I've used both those lines passing through Australian Customs.
'Oops, that's a high-level security search.'
Never really helped my cause.
I suppose that was the point of quoting Oscar Wilde.
It was when total strangers started calling me ‘Big Boy’ and ‘Fat Cunt’ that I thought, aren’t they fucking rude.
But like most of my problems they were easily brushed aside.
I’m already a big framed Eastern European. And the Asian whores never complained about my weight. A limp cock, they may complain, but 110 kgs of fucking testosterone, a fucking bonus.
The last time I weighed in at 114 three weeks ago at the clinic.
My doctor was reluctant to prescribe me Duromine, apparently a stimulant I was to learn later. A crack head I met on the bus, who was reporting at the police station, probably for breaking and entering, highly recommended it. So it must be good, if a crackhead was endorsing it. Moreover, it was legal. That was what I took with me to the doctor’s consultation room.
God bless his Bulgarian soul who was born in Syria. He eventually caved in. He was a prescribing machine after all. And I was a role model patient, visited him once a week, easy money as they say, more than he would ever get either in Bulgaria or Syria.
I was also suffering from fatigue, listless and lacking motivation. I put it down to narcolepsy, depression and bipolar, because I’ve always been intrigued by the roaming polar bears of the artic who rode ice drifts to their next meal.
Those cum stains on my t-shirt and tracksuit pants aren't really a good look.
And wearing black only emphasized the 'I don't give a fuck' state of mind I had and helped camouflage those love handles that jiggled when I walked and acted as support when I put my hands on my hips.
Duromine is basically speed.
It’s marketed under many names, I guess after it gets a bad reputation from junkies just like myself who abuse it.
It’s also called phentermine and branded with intergalactic spacy names like 'Acxion' and 'Adipex' and of course Duromine which I'll go the long mile to down grown grade it's house wife diet pill reputation to what it really is, a cheap thrill.
Don’t be fooled, it’s still the same formula that was used in the 50’s.
The version I’m taking is slow release.
Nothing like the handful of pink and whites I took on the streets of Bangkok before a night out in the 'Go- Go Pits'.
Which is why I open up the plastic capsule and pour out the content in neat lines on the table and snort as much of it as I can, then I mop up the rest with my fingers, licking those crystals and breaking them down with my teeth before swallowing. It beats waiting four hours for it to dissolve in your stomach and enter your blood system. Far too slow for anyone’s liking. I need the buzz now, not five hours later. And if I need the buzz five hours later, I’ll just swallow or snort another pill.
Trust me, it's a sight to behold.
Haven't put a pill up my ass yet.
It would be a waste if I had to shit it out.
I'm taking laxatives too.
Anything to lose weight and loosen up the bowels.
I'll take it because science says so.
Another reason why I break up the capsule is that the plastic it's made from can't be good for me.
I don’t like eating plastic capsules at the best of times.
Unless of course they are loaded with high grade speed.
I also want to see what I'm imbibing.
It's the curious chemist inside me wanting to explore his meds.
Duromine consists of fine white powder, in smaller amounts, signaling it's the good stuff; while the coarse brown powder is the binder that takes it time binding with blood, making sure the effects of the pill lasts all fucking day long.
It really takes about four hours to kick in and start suppressing your appetite. But if you snort it and open up the capsule and consume it orally, making sure to grind down on the granulated crystals with your molars, half an hour max for the big kick up the ass.
Dopamine, are you ready, seaty, gooooo…..
