I like the idea of going to seed and then doing a bit of gardening and coming good.
It’s like also looking back at yourself in the mirror.
Instead of seeing a youthful 24-year-old looking back at me, it’s a 52-year overweight old man. He isn’t looking back at me. He’s scowling at me. He’s saying, ‘What the fuck do you want.’ And I’m too timid to say he’s obese.
I have muscle memory.
I trained in weights, swam and ran, in my early twenties.
But as soon as I started travelling, I couldn’t be bothered with training.
Fast forward over two decades, and this train wreck has arrived.
It’s going to take some panel beating, some good drugs and discipline, but I think we'll get there.
Me, Myself and I are very disciplined that way.
And if we don't get there, it's been great being fucked up for the past four months on lab grade crack.
I’m hitting the weights big time.
I have a gym membership.
I’m on track to finding the new and better me.
Right?
As I said, I’m hitting the weights, getting physiotherapy, and getting all my teeth crowned.
A trifecta.
A fucking expensive trifecta.
That dentist I had my original crowns in the Philippines blocked me the moment I left the country. He knows it was a dodgy job.
'I even left cement under his gums.'
Another treacherous dentist.
But he did put them in a time capsule, safe from future decay and general wear and tear.
My dentist is Macedonian.
His wife is a fat old cow.
She's always punishing me by putting the high suction evacuator on a raw grinded down tooth, knowing it's going to hurt like hell.
She's spiteful, boarding on undifferentiated Schizophrenia.
I know she's going to go for my balls soon and tear them off with her teeth.
That's who she really is, a frustrated wife who hasn't been fucked since the last Ice Age.
My dentist Doctor Mike Pandev surrounds himself with women, fat Indians, chunky Vietnamese, and Afghani heifers.
He has so many skirts to hide from it makes me wonder what it all means.
Get a bloke on your payroll.
Dr. Mike Pandev considers himself a rock star.
When he's not shagging in Bali on tax right off vacations, he's playing Mother Teresa.
He is the Minority Report.
And they don't mind doing his dirty work.
Something is up. And I'm going to find the underlying cause of it, soon.
