The Russians funded NASA.
'Hell yeah,' said Obama, 'I made sure of that.'
Biden chuckles.
'Don't know the difference between an astronaut or a cosmonaut, but boy they got some hot poontang in China, according to my son Hunter.'
The CIA, now under the control of the Democrats, was monitoring blogs that were critical of the government.
'We know where you are.'
'And we fucking know where you are,' said Max, who was breathing heavily walking up the slopes of Mt. Eijin.
We had arrived in Bunyuwangi, the most easterly town of East Java, where the Indonesian government allowed us to park the Trump 747.
'They fucking owed us,' said Max, who was sucking on a Montecristo cigar.
'We even fucking helped them bury the commies,' he added.
Excavators, bulldozers, made light work of the mass graves that were always on the outskirts of town and city limits and which were later covered with shopping malls and residential towers.
'Do you always need to remind us how we are indebted to you? ' said a Major General.
Vesta and Ceres were two dwarf planets between Mars and Jupiter.
Perfect places to colonise.
Max exhaled out his cigar.
'I'd like to fuck you with it,' he said to Major General Ekka.
'I'd love to help you colonise Vesta and make babies.'
'Vesta is one of the largest objects in the asteroid belt,' responded Max who was following the prompts of Google Assistant on his smart phone, ' with a mean diameter of 525 kilometres. It was discovered by the German astronomer Heinrich Wilhelm Matthias Olbers on 29 March 1807 and is named after Vesta, the virgin goddess of home and hearth from Roman mythology.'
'It was a big enough chunk to mine,' I volunteered, adding, 'underneath it's crust was a lake inside a deep cave sealed up by alien technology with a giant man hole.
'Giuseppe Piazzi also discovered Ceres,' continued Max. 'Most people think he was responsible for making the first pizza. That too.
'You are so smart, Max,' said Major General Ekka.
She was in love and wanted us to show some.
Ekka loved white sausages.
'Two at a time', she said,' find an orafice and enjoy this Javanese ass.'
