'Fuck the Golden Triangle,' said Max, who pointed out Lang Son on the map, 'the train crosses the border into China and arrives in Wuhan that evening.'

It would be a perfect jumping-off point.

I always wanted to see if the northern Vietnamese were as frisky as their southern Vietnamese cousins.

'No time for that,' said Max, who told me to run.

I ran.

'Now fucking jump.'

I jumped.

'We have been waiting for you both,' said the conductor, 'now come and join me.'

He had to be taking us to the first-class section.

'Food, drink, and whores all included,' said the conductor.

I loved Asia for its friendliness.

Whoever said Asians were racist had rocks in their head.

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