Stan and Kumar moved to Manila.
They had fleeced most of the sex tourists in Angeles City and to avoid raising suspicion, they moved their operations to the capital.
They had bags of cash.
The Fraud Squad asked me personally to take care of it.
I said it wouldn't be hard to figure out.
All I had to do was fine a street where sex tourists hung out.
There'd be some deduction but I had a hunch.
My standing in the Philipines would be cemented once I sorted out these fraudsters.
It wasn't skimming we were dealing with.
It was something far simpler and effective.
'What do think it is then?' asked Max.
Should I drag this one out or just come clean?
'Spit it out,' said Max.
'Look up there,' I said, pointing to a short time rented room which was opposite a very busy ATM.
The casino attracted them all, I should know.
'And I think Kumar and Stan are up there taking photos of withdrawals with a long lens.'
But how can they do phantom withdrawals, asked Max?
'You will see," I said. I wanted to give Kumar and Stan enough rope to hang themselves.
'No time for that,' said the Fraud Squad.
Ok, I said, Ok, raid them now.
Stan and Kumar were cloning cards and withdrawing cash at every ATM in the city.
They were pretty busy.
'And they'd be spending a long time in jail,' said Max.
'Not on our shift' said the Fraud Squad, who recently disposed of Eastern European skimmers in Manila Bay.
'Were they floaters?' I asked.
'No,' said the Fraud Squad, 'they sank like stones after we fired bullets into them.'
They didn't muck around in the Philipines.
And they didn't take lightly foreigners fucking with their biggest industry, whorism.
Everyone should have the right to whore.
And Max and I were just doing our duty.
'Spare us,' said Stan and Kumar.
'Hand over the cash then, ' I said.
I really didn't need to say that.
Inside their hotel room was bags of the stuff.
It was divided up between us and the Fraud Squad.
Some missions are easier than others.
This was one was a cinch.
'You'll die for your treason,' said Stan.
'Not on my shift,' I said.
Kumar wanted to play ball.
'Release him,' I said.
The Fraud Squad were compliant.
Now what were we going to do with Stan?
'I'll sort him out,' said Suying, that Chinese assassin.
She was also sent after the fraudsters who fleeced the Chinese last month.
Stan would need all the charm in the world to survive her.
They had fleeced most of the sex tourists in Angeles City and to avoid raising suspicion, they moved their operations to the capital.
They had bags of cash.
The Fraud Squad asked me personally to take care of it.
I said it wouldn't be hard to figure out.
All I had to do was fine a street where sex tourists hung out.
There'd be some deduction but I had a hunch.
My standing in the Philipines would be cemented once I sorted out these fraudsters.
It wasn't skimming we were dealing with.
It was something far simpler and effective.
'What do think it is then?' asked Max.
Should I drag this one out or just come clean?
'Spit it out,' said Max.
'Look up there,' I said, pointing to a short time rented room which was opposite a very busy ATM.
The casino attracted them all, I should know.
'And I think Kumar and Stan are up there taking photos of withdrawals with a long lens.'
But how can they do phantom withdrawals, asked Max?
'You will see," I said. I wanted to give Kumar and Stan enough rope to hang themselves.
'No time for that,' said the Fraud Squad.
Ok, I said, Ok, raid them now.
Stan and Kumar were cloning cards and withdrawing cash at every ATM in the city.
They were pretty busy.
'And they'd be spending a long time in jail,' said Max.
'Not on our shift' said the Fraud Squad, who recently disposed of Eastern European skimmers in Manila Bay.
'Were they floaters?' I asked.
'No,' said the Fraud Squad, 'they sank like stones after we fired bullets into them.'
They didn't muck around in the Philipines.
And they didn't take lightly foreigners fucking with their biggest industry, whorism.
Everyone should have the right to whore.
And Max and I were just doing our duty.
'Spare us,' said Stan and Kumar.
'Hand over the cash then, ' I said.
I really didn't need to say that.
Inside their hotel room was bags of the stuff.
It was divided up between us and the Fraud Squad.
Some missions are easier than others.
This was one was a cinch.
'You'll die for your treason,' said Stan.
'Not on my shift,' I said.
Kumar wanted to play ball.
'Release him,' I said.
The Fraud Squad were compliant.
Now what were we going to do with Stan?
'I'll sort him out,' said Suying, that Chinese assassin.
She was also sent after the fraudsters who fleeced the Chinese last month.
Stan would need all the charm in the world to survive her.
