Living out of a car comes with a lot of shame.
I know, it’s totally stupid, isn’t it, to worry about what other people think of you.
I know Zac thinks a lot more of me than before.
His plan has backfired.
He’s first in line for investigations.
No need to dig too deep, I told Anna.
She was helping me so I figured I’d help her.
I wasn’t the only member he was heavy handed with.
What do you mean, she asked.
I was going to answer anyways.
Well, one of Zac’s staff attacked a member.
Why?
Well, I think he was jealous he didn’t have a Harley to park outside the gym.
Also Jose, he was ripped.
What ever he was taking, it was working.
And Zac banned him from his gym.
I’m feeling better about life.
I haven’t checked to see if he transferred the remaining of my membership.
I won’t hold my breath.
The iron man might be good in the pool, but he’s bloody atrocious when it comes to using his brain.
‘It took quite a lot of convincing that perhaps what he had done was not right.’
I was surprised you turned him around.
I said the police charges didn’t hold up.
I have a clean record.
What does that say?
It says that Zac Martin took all this nonsense to another level.
‘And to his own detriment,' says my case officer from Consumer Protection, WA.
Yes, Anna. His time is coming. Good luck with the inquest on dodgy gyms, Zac Martin needs to be slashed down a few sizes.
I told Anna that Anytime Fitness need to clean up their act.
She agreed. And out of all the complaints she's received, mine was the most heavy handed.
I said that Zac Martin is guilty of charging members who have already cancelled.
'Contact your bank,' he told Jose, who had to cancel his card to stop the payments being siphoned out of his account.
'That's on top of our investigations.
I said if Zac Martin is doing this shit at his Girrawheen branch, a very good chance he's pulling it off at his other two gyms.
I also told her that when Zac Martin stole my membership, and banned me nation wide, it wasn't his call.
Why, she asked.
Because I had been transferred over to the Malaga branch. So by rights, he had none to hold my membership or to ban me nationwide.
Could you confirm that, she asked.
Of course I can. She thanked me very much and said without consumers like me, her department couldn't be informed of what is really going on.
I thanked her very much.
And said keep an eye out for my Road Kill Tour.
It's about how Zac Martin raced me out of WA, through intimidation...
'Intimidation?' Yes, the guy who called the police on me the day I left my key in the gym, wanted me to take the first punch.
'You mean he wanted to fight you?'
Yes, Anna and I was also verbally and physically abused by the local street dogs, and an Indian security guard, as I entered the gym to continue my work out.
Sundays, I said, all kinds of shenanigans go down when the managers aren't around.
She was aghast. So I continued. But thank god for the police, Anna, they listen. They understand that if someone has forgot their key inside the gym, that they have forgot their key card inside the gym.
She's aghast again. It seems genuine.
And you'd be surprised how many people don't understand that.
'Chinese whispers,' she says.
Yes, Zac Martin didn't like me and this was his chance to annihilate me.
That's the whisper I was hearing.
She's listening on the other end.
She can get my remaining membership back, if I pull three You tube videos.
I'll do it for you Anna.
And don't you think that Zac Martin guy has gonads the size of the Olgas to request that after all he's done?
Of course she does. But we are just playing along with Zac's little fantasy that he's in control.
Aren't we?
It concerned me too. God speed in putting that outstanding citizen back in the dog box. Otherwise I'd have to call up RSPCA to have him euthanized.
She laughs.
I continued, now I had the microphone.
The whole episode stunk of an art critic being hunted down by Nazi reporters.
His crime?
Anna's a good prompter.
Nearly dying from a head on collision by a driver of a Commodore who was off his head on a mixture of Jim Beam, Crack-A-Jack and Mary Jane.
'Yes, yes,' she says, 'luckily WA has reformed and now we take the side of the public.'
Amen.
Twenty minutes later, I terminate the call.
Zac, if you are listening.
I have my sights on you.
You aren’t the real iron man.
Elon Musk is.
And even when you are wrong, you are still calling the shots.
Yep, you still have the title as dictator.
