Was the Philipines calling?
I didn't belong in Pattaya.
Besides, I couldn't get it up.
I love Viagra like the next man, but she'd have to be very special for me to pop one of those pills.
Nothing worse than your dick swiveling every which way when a pussy walks by.
Pattaya had the soul of a whore.
Inspector Tay summed it up well enough for me.
I was only going to be consumed by the money hungry gold diggers.
Phantom fucks.
Who needed them when you could wank for free.
What I did know, no one was free of being on stage.
The shame factor just got ramped up a few notches.
'Was that Frank holding hands with a lady boy?'
'Had to be, I saw him on Youtube.'
Busted. We were all busted.
Being an international mystery man of the C.I.A was getting harder.
I might have to hide somewhere and read a book.
Yep, you got it: And Brother It's Starting to Rain.
Cebu seemed the most likely place.
They seemed friendly.
It lacked the hard and sharp edges of Manila.
I was looking for a cute Philipino who ramped up her American accent and kept on calling me sir.
'Yes Master,' said Cindy.
Well fuck a duck.
I was on a beach in Cebu, and now the hot chicks were calling me master.
This had to be paradise lost that first attracted the Spanish, then the Americans, and now bored tourists sick of morgages and asses the size of a Volkswagon Van.
I didn't belong in Pattaya.
Besides, I couldn't get it up.
I love Viagra like the next man, but she'd have to be very special for me to pop one of those pills.
Nothing worse than your dick swiveling every which way when a pussy walks by.
Pattaya had the soul of a whore.
Inspector Tay summed it up well enough for me.
I was only going to be consumed by the money hungry gold diggers.
Phantom fucks.
Who needed them when you could wank for free.
What I did know, no one was free of being on stage.
The shame factor just got ramped up a few notches.
'Was that Frank holding hands with a lady boy?'
'Had to be, I saw him on Youtube.'
Busted. We were all busted.
Being an international mystery man of the C.I.A was getting harder.
I might have to hide somewhere and read a book.
Yep, you got it: And Brother It's Starting to Rain.
Cebu seemed the most likely place.
They seemed friendly.
It lacked the hard and sharp edges of Manila.
I was looking for a cute Philipino who ramped up her American accent and kept on calling me sir.
'Yes Master,' said Cindy.
Well fuck a duck.
I was on a beach in Cebu, and now the hot chicks were calling me master.
This had to be paradise lost that first attracted the Spanish, then the Americans, and now bored tourists sick of morgages and asses the size of a Volkswagon Van.
