The tow truck driver who did my last tow, about six in the past three months, said to hold onto my dignity.

He lived out of a car with his daughter for a year, after his missus booted him out of his home, ‘the home that I was paying the mortgage off.’

He gave me hope.

Give everyone the big finger.

I’d show those assholes dignity.

Dignity in the middle finger.

They question it.

He’s a big mother fucker.

And that Asian was small, but well built.

He’d back down.

I’d call their bluffs.
Dignity.
Yep, stand up for yourself.
Put the fear up them.
If Colin the Cripple could bar my entry into the gym with his mutton of a leg arm, then I could tell people to fuck off.
Colin could easily be immobilised.
Push him.
Watch him fall.
He wouldn’t be able to get up without his wheeled walker.
He’d yell, for sure, ‘you fucking cunt,’ but he’d still be on the floor, helpless, with his pants down, showing his gut folds and bum cheeks.
But that didn’t stop Colin showing his dignity.

‘Get the fuck out of here you homeless bum.’
Colin, we salute you for your brazenness, your fearlessness, and you’re self worth, way out of proportion to the real Colin, a cripple who shits his pants, because he can’t get to the toilet fast enough on his wheeled walker.


Everyone needs a Road Kill Tour.
It aligns all that is unaligned.
Maybe the Vyvanse was getting the worse of me.
Fuck that idea.
I wasn’t getting enough of it.
And shopping for substitutes was wearing me down.
Where there was a will, I’d find another script.

I’d have to say goodbye to the snow flakes.

Their time would come.
They would never know the joys of dragging a queen size mattress down an Industrial alley way.
The night was mine.
They would never know the joys of running up and down dumped soil.
It gave the calves  a good stretch.
It was all just limbering up exercises for when the COVID nonsense would end.
I’d be lean and mean.
Road cases would be under my total control.
Even with the breaks on, I could move that beast.
Better still, I wouldn’t think twice about playing Simon Says, ‘Simon Says let’s fuck the front break. ‘ Boy, that hammer came in handy.
The break would never work but the Road Case would yield to my delicate touch.

I am an optimist. I believe in a better day.
That better day was just over the horizon. I can smell it. Feel it. Those bugs smattering on my windscreen was an omen, an omen of better things.
If only I could follow that sun.
Sun sun, sun, here we come.

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