Guatemala is no place for amateurs.
Coming from Diego, that didn't mean much.
Since I was here last, over two decades ago, he inherited the presidency from his father.
It was a dark secret that he was into the Indigenous women.
'Who hasn't watched National Geo,' he says in his defense, and then goes whoo hoo and talks about how he hanged his coat hangers off their two-inch nipples.
Too late, I told Diego, 'your drug supply has been cut off and the US President is thinking about building a wall at the Mexican -Guatemala border to keep you out of the US.'
'But he's already building a wall on the US and Mexico border.'
Diego eventually got it.
'You are not welcome,' I continued,' unless you start growing opium, the US might cut you some slack, as there's currently a shortage of high-grade opium for manufacturing of morphine.'
'All this drug talk, anyone would think you work for the C.I.A.'
'Well you haven't got any oil, so don't expect us to be invading you any time soon.'
As I said, I needed to get out of Guatemala.
It was a backward country and Max was happy with the progress.
'The president gave me this to give you.'
It was a MAGA cap, I said.
'Yep,' said Max,' it's Donald's.'
Coming from Diego, that didn't mean much.
Since I was here last, over two decades ago, he inherited the presidency from his father.
It was a dark secret that he was into the Indigenous women.
'Who hasn't watched National Geo,' he says in his defense, and then goes whoo hoo and talks about how he hanged his coat hangers off their two-inch nipples.
Too late, I told Diego, 'your drug supply has been cut off and the US President is thinking about building a wall at the Mexican -Guatemala border to keep you out of the US.'
'But he's already building a wall on the US and Mexico border.'
Diego eventually got it.
'You are not welcome,' I continued,' unless you start growing opium, the US might cut you some slack, as there's currently a shortage of high-grade opium for manufacturing of morphine.'
'All this drug talk, anyone would think you work for the C.I.A.'
'Well you haven't got any oil, so don't expect us to be invading you any time soon.'
As I said, I needed to get out of Guatemala.
It was a backward country and Max was happy with the progress.
'The president gave me this to give you.'
It was a MAGA cap, I said.
'Yep,' said Max,' it's Donald's.'
