Outside a pub called 'D&M,' Pope Francis smiles benevolently down on the dirt poor of the world.
If the meek inherited the earth, Manila would be HQ.
It's a reminder we are in a Catholic country.
If I was the pope I'd be visiting the Philipines at every opportunity.
He'd be a pop star here.
Heck, is he is a pop star here.
He'd pull more chicks than Justin Bieber.
He'd get a good work out in the confessional boxes.
I'd even buy him a round of Viagra.
The pope smiles down at a beggar carrying cardboard boxes on his back.
That whore who just asked me for a massage on the street could even ask the pope for forgiveness and out of the generosity of her heart, give him a blow job.
He'd be the only Westerner who wouldn't have to pay for a banana boat ride.
He could propel his motor lips between their tits until the next coming of JC.
I poke my head inside the dingy lit bar. Posters of San Miguel beer adorn the walls.
The pope is still smiling down on us inside the bar that is creeping with whores.
He's in one group shot with models.
They are swooning for forgiveness.
The pope use to be a rock and roll star.
Here in Manila, blokes wearing frocks is the norm, if you happen to be the pope.
The bar looks like the set of the Chainsaw Cheerleaders.
'Hot Asian babe cheerleaders...shower scenes...locker room scenes...cat fights...and a demon vibrator that satisfies some,' writes one brave visitor of this bar.
I look at the sign flashing in red neon above the bar.'Demon Vibrator.'
The night is young and I hear a chainsaw start up and a tune belt out of the speaker, 'One night in Manila...' If I don't leave now my wallet will be moaning to me for the next few lifetimes.
Think I'll strictly limit my entertainment to the dentist chair.
At least Dr. John provides a lasting service.
'The crowns will last a lifetime,' he says, advising me not to go to D&M, 'too many pickpocketers and the whores are ladyboys.'