I've just done my Basic Scaffolding course. But I also have my EWP license, forklift and thinking of doing my intermediate, but my teacher said I should get some industry experience. I'm kinda a natural, having built steal (Heavy Duty), aluminium (Medium Duty) to one step stages (Light Duty). I did the course at a place in Malaga, and the other boys in the class, five of them, all with industry experience, didn't like me in their domain. All I cared about was doing the course safely. Even my instructor started panicking, saying I needed to up my game. I called it group hysteria. And I appeased them. Some smart ass in the group kept on taking my harness with the two inertia wheels attached to it. So when it was my time to work on the rig, I spent half an hour looking for a harness and inertia reels. It was a bad look. But I wasn't going to let those fuckers let me fail. I'm not kidding, the instructor even gave his favourite students the Work Safe answers for the maths side of the theory test.
I flunked my theory test and I'm sitting again this Saturday. I will work for free. I'll even get my job provider to fire you some government coin if you'll just let me be the grunt man, who passes up the equipment. I'm really good at the hard work. In the end, the German who sat the course with us, a hard cord scaffolder from Stuttgart, who had no patience for Nancy boys like me, willing took orders from me. 'Here's the fucking hammer, Krawt. Do some fucking work for a change.'
I have set up trusses, at Optus Stadium, RAC ARENA, NIB Stadium, HBF Stadium and recently set up a bird cage.
I don't know why the Custodians of the Industry, instructors and Work Safe Assessors think I'm not fit for the industry. The Work Safe Accessor, a Brit who earned his wings in the UK, 'I was running crews of 20 up at the age of 19,' he says with a natural talent for plans. 'Not bad for a boy who left school at 15 from the wrong side of the tracks.'
I've worked with Riggers and Scaffolders for the past ten years. Not that anyone in the class wanted to know. They went along with the story that I was always fond of playing with myself as a child. Not that I played Macramé by myself as a child. See, they had it in for me. But in the end, when the class realized I was a team player and valued the idea of not getting injured - I did incur a scratch, by the way, it bled, and the boys saw that, I didn't even cry this time, which also factored in why the boys changed heart and gave me the respect I deserved. I said well-done boys, great team work and congratulated the three who passed the course and encouraged the other two, including myself, who didn't with, 'I guess we didn't kiss the assessors ass or blow him enough kisses to win his interest. Sebastian , the little half cast Maori boy did, only 19, and cute as fuck, well that's what the assessor must have thought, because I kid you not, during the Work Safe theory test, not only was he blowing kisses back, he was also doing sign language with his hands. 'I'm not allowed to verbally give out the answers,' he said, as he coached the answer out of the boy by playing, 'You are getting warmer.'
I am posting pictures of myself and the scaffold I built. Trust me, I didn't shy away from hard work. I also did most of the housecleaning, separating the swivling couplers from the Dixon Double Bolt Clamps. I'm not blowing my own trumpet but I'm just as comfortable swinging from the highest platform, trying to pull out a three metre without mid or guard rails to protect me, yeah, that upset the boys I didn't fall but gave me a new respect, that I had balls moulded out of bronze. Hay, I enjoyed it. I enjoyed the EWP course. I got a hard on when the boom was totally extended. That's what I told my Work Safe Accessor, a South African who worked for Western Power as an EWP instructor until he got a back injury, some cunt dropped something on him at a mining site, enough to jolt and damage his spinal chord. The poor guy has problems walking. He's fucked. But he's still instructing and he passed me. 'You obviously cheated in the theory test,' he said, I do too, I remember begging him for answers throughout the test, 'but on the prac, you showed superb Captain-ship. While that hardened traddie from the UK started crying when he got too high, you flopped out your cock and wanked from high above.' Work Safe Accessor Mark has a way with words. And if he's going to pass me, hell, I'll laugh at his jokes.
I'll get back to you after this Saturday when I resit the test. I really hope you will consider me for a position at your place. Trust me, you don't be disappointed. I really am a funny cunt. But I do value the same things as you, working safely, having some fun and keeping the client happy and satisfied.
